Beyond These Walls
by blueskyraven
Summary: Susie's always been broken but she hid it well enough. Surprisingly the one person she thinks she hates sees through her like no one else. Calvin unintentionally or not, put her back together again,in his unbiased nonconventional way. But in order to save himself, will he be able to let her in, or will he choose to refrain himself, only to end up deepening the scars in her heart.


Susie's P.O.V

It was my last week of school. I was transferring to a public school overseas to go live with my dad for a while, until my mom cleared her life out. They'd divorced after 7 years of screaming and disagreeing and I had gone from being their little temporary patch, unable to hold out any longer, to the burden, the reminder of a painful past. Yet they were stuck with me until I'd turn 18. There was still a good two years until that joyful day came, and they couldn't wait. Until they could dump me off to college and go about their separate lives. It wasn't as if they'd mouth their intentions, but it was as clear as the autumn sky on their faces and actions for me to read into. It always seemed to me like I was living the life of a girl who wasn't me. Living through a kind of looking glass.

At school, I wasn't really interested in portraying little-miss-save-from-my-sorrowful-life, so I went all out, model student, great grades, class president, cheerleading, hobby clubs, charity events, I wore myself out until I couldn't think anymore. And though keeping busy helped, the gnawing hole my parents left in my heart forever threatened to swallow me, I did my best to pretend it wasn't there.

Calvin was probably as lonely as I was; only I tried to cover up with a fake shiny persona and so-called friends. He wore his loneliness like armor. That always made him stand out in the crowd of self-denying kids. I envied him for how comfortable he was in his own skin, hated how much I was afraid of having myself exposed.

When we were younger, he always spent most of his time plotting again cootie bearing Homo sapiens or girls as a result of which I was always the victim of his annihilating experiments. And the regrettable kid I was, I always made it a point to make his motives known to some authoritative figure. So I couldn't really blame him for hating me initially.

But as we grew older, I began to understand him in a better though initially I assumed his loneliness was self-inflicted until I realized it was only that he had always been different. He was incredibly honest, a refreshing change from my long chain of lying-to-impress peers and most of all myself, yet there were parts of him I couldn't quite put a finger on, which made me all the more curious, made him all the more perfect to me.

I knew he was a complex person, so many contradicting thoughts, too many contradicting feelings, so he came off as cold, but in truth he'd always been very kind. As the gender-biased rivalry phases and the initial awkward phases wore off we started off on level ground, the day he stood up for me against a bunch of bullies in middle school- as friends , competitors and eventually something started to grow in me for him. Something that made me gravitate towards him. In a strange way, we saved each other but I was still afraid of being hurt , afraid of being rejected, so afraid of everything , that I tried to shut it out, but it only grew bigger. I still decided to keep my feelings to myself, primarily because I didn't quite understand them and what I'd do with them and secondarily because Calvin had become an important part of my life. Even as we entered high school, he still remained the same weird incomprehensible person that people preferred to avoid (not like he could care any less), at times he was difficult and brutal, but I could always see a part of him that no one could, and despite myself, I didn't want to lose him, so I tried to tell myself that I was content.

But now I was running out of time, the chance to tell him how much he meant to me. My heart hurt from the knowledge that our separation was spiraling towards me, that we'd probably never see each other again, that we'd lose what we'd shared. But how could you possibly tell a boy like Calvin how much you love him? I was afraid that he'd condemn me for giving in to the clichés of man and walk away from me. Then I'd break beyond repair, but how could you walk away whole after leaving your heart behind? I'd dug my own hole of sinking sand and I was heading straight towards it.

Calvin's P.O.V

It was beautiful morning as I got off the bus and dragged myself towards class, arguing in my head and failing to comprehend why I was still being sent to school even after I'd summed up a reasonable logical insight on why school was an unnecessary amount of time and effort spent on trying to morph into the clone that society forces you to be. When I got to class and I turned towards Susie to ask her for her insight on as to why my parents being the supposedly fully intellectually developed individuals that they were , had failed to understand my very well put together, if I should say so myself , list on why school was an ultimate waste of time.

She seemed to be furiously writing in something that suspiciously looked like a diary, with so much concentration that she hadn't noticed me yet.

"Hey, what you got in there? State secrets?"

She looked up startled at the sound of my voice, and immediately turned a bit red, she'd been doing that lately, the turning red thing, but why was one of the things that I just failed to comprehend.  
"Uhh. . . Nothing, just some stuff for the school magazine" she said, stuffing it in her bag, just as the homeroom teacher walked in.

So I had to swallow my further curiosities and survive through the rest of my pitiful school day though I could tell that she wasn't being entirely honest. Yet somehow, strangely my mind seemed to warp around the reason Susie had been writing so furiously and I couldn't seem to come up with a satisfying answer. I'll have to confront Hobbes about it later.

Author's note:

Heey you guys

What did you think of the story so far? I decided to start with a Calvin-Susie coupling because I've always wondered what it'd be like once they're older and everything and it really intrigues me, because of what an unusual but really great couple they'd make. See the cover picture, isn't that the cutest?! This is my first attempt at fan fiction, so please go easy on me and also forgive the silly grammar mistakes I might have made. But I'm all for constructive criticism, so please review! Also I 'd love to hear what you guys would like to read next in the story or whether you'd like to read whatever I'm going with, so please mention that in the review maybe? Any kind of response would be a great encouragement for me to continue on with the later chapters, I think for some reason it isn't showing that this is only the first chapter and there's more to come, so I'm guessing most of you think that's all there is to this? So don't worry, I've got great stuff planned ahead, I just want some thumbs ups

Thanks  
love blueskyraven


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